


Choose Me

by returnbydeath



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Arc 4 spoilers for Re:Zero (don't read if you're an anime only), Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24055453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnbydeath/pseuds/returnbydeath
Summary: Natsuki Subaru has a nightmare past the events of Sanctuary. Luckily, Beatrice is there to help.(DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ARC 4 (PAST SEASON 1 OF THE ANIME)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	Choose Me

He's running. Running away from something. 

No matter what, he refuses to take a glance behind himself. It would kill him. Destroy him, not just physically but mentally.

What's behind him? Something, he never wanted to see again. Something that caused him immense pain.

"NOT AGAIN! NOT THIS.. AGAIN!" The boy screamed into the wind, the wind that seemed to go against him, pushing and pulling him back and forth as if it was sentient and unsure whether to help him or not. 

He's running. However, he knows that running will only delay the inevitable. That he will die, again. Again. Again. Again. How many times has this been now? His heart raced as fast as the wind pulled his teenage body along, whispering pleas to stop running into his deaf ears. The boy, obviously aware of what was happening behind his back, just a little bit away..

Everyone's.. already gone. What's the point of continuing? His mind questions his heart's own sanity of the choice to continue running. Please, just a little longer, and then I can.. save..

The thoughts in his mind drain away when he hears distant voices. He can't tell if they're in his mind, or if they're there with him, they sound so.. strong--

"Subaru, why haven't you gone back yet? Do you reaaally not care about us?"

Such a.. familiar, feminine voice, belonging to one he truly loves.

"Barusu. Always knew you were useless, but really?"

Don't listen to them. They're just.. they're just in your head.

"Natsuki, this may sound rather rude.. however, I feel inclined to ask..--"

Shut up. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"Cap'n, this 's pretty pathetic--"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Subaru cried. The cries of the helpless teenage boy appeared to silence the dark area. Pattering of the hundreds of small feet hitting the ground silenced, creating the impression that they had vanished into thin air. But how could that be possible? They.. were.. 

The boy had to take a glimpse behind himself to make sure. And after, he took a deep breath in, and out came the largest sigh you could ever hear. It.. was over. Finally, a bit of peace from everything he has to constantly face. After all, he deserves it, doesn't he? He deserves a break from all the things he has to do for everyone in the mansion, all his friends. Were they really his friends, if he had to do everything for them all the time? Useless. They were useless, weren't they? Everyone in the mansion. Emilia, Ram, Otto, Garfiel, Lewes, Roswaal, Petra. They were all useless. They could do things for themselves for once. Oh, that's right. They should do things themselves for once. Instead of him having to do everything for them. The half-witch bitch, the two-faced demon, the useless merchant, the gullible kid with anger issues, the robotic thing, the dumb clown and the stupid kid. They're all the most stupid.. stupid.. 

Stupid?

No, no.. this isn't right. Natsuki Subaru would never think that..

While he was distracted, the boy didn't notice the white ball of fluff at his feet. A singular, white ball of fluff. And as he looked down, fear instilled itself into his eyes. 

He's seen this before, and he's not stupid enough to not remember what's going to happen next if he doesn't run.

But, as if it was a direct replay of one of his other loops, his feet were stuck to the ground and he felt as if he had no control over his own body. His feet, his legs, his hands, his head, his eyes, his whole body refused to move. 

It's over. It's all over. I'm going have to redo this all again, aren't.. I?

His screams stopped shortly after the, now multiplied rabbits began to tear his body apart, piece by piece, limb by limb, organ by organ. They entered through his mouth and devoured him from the inside, at one point tearing out his voice box, rendering him unable to speak. Their sharp yet small teeth ripped and tore Subaru's stomach open, only leaving him to bleed for a few seconds before his whole body.. Oh god, his whole body.. was gone.

"AUUUUGuugh?!?"

Subaru jolted awake from the horrifyingly realistic dream, or rather, nightmare, seemingly hours after it had gruesomely ended. He shrieked in response, his whole body matted in sweat, tears welling up in his eyes as he tugged his legs inwards, trying to ease his shaking by laying back on to his back and staring at the ceiling for a few seconds while taking deep breaths, turning into hyperventilation from the sheer shock of what just solidified itself in his memory. Quickly realising that none of this was calming down, he began to seek comfort in turning to the warmth next to him.. warmth.. next to him?

"Subaru, are you alright.. I suppose?" A quiet, high-pitched yet concerned voice called out to him in the dark from underneath the blanket. The small silhouette shuffled closer to him, as if wanting to know he was okay, and ruffled around in the blanket. "Betty is sort of concerned for Subaru. Not too much, I suppose.. but, you have been making scary sounds for quite a bit of time, in fact."

Her voice went on, echoing in the dark room. "Are you okay, Subaru, I supp--!"

Beatrice's voice muffled as she was wrapped in the arms of the young boy. Oh, God. She's alive. "Beatrice. I.. I'm sorry, I guess.. sorry. For.. disturbing you." Beatrice was going to open her mouth to respond to the young boy's apology, but she quickly closed it before she could say anything stupid. It was plain to see he was upset. Usually, when he'd hug her, he'd make some bold remark, such as "You're so cute when you're flustered, Beako!" Just thinking about it made her blood boil, but obviously this wasn't the time for anything of the like.

The petite girl accepted his hug, struggling to climb his larger body so she could pat her hand on his head. "There, there, in fact." Beatrice.. wasn't all that good at this whole comfort thing. She had spent 400 years locked up in the library her mother and creator, Echidna, entrusted to her to protect. Waiting for someone.. they.. to come rescue her from her misery. Natsuki Subaru appeared that day, and she questioned herself as if he was the real thing. Or if he just came to steal knowledge, or herself. Of course, Subaru was all too stupid to trick anyone, and all too stupid to accept Beatrice's request of becoming her 'they'. He threw the things her mother had told her 400 years ago on the ground and trampled all over them. Told her that she couldn't be his #1. Told her that she was being stupid, and reached out his hand.

She remembers it all too well.

"I'm.. not your they. But. I want to be with you, Beatrice."

"I won't be able to live with the loneliness without you. Help me."

“But, tomorrow, we can be holding hands.”

“Beatrice. —Choose me.”

Those two words plus her name, it just melted her heart. He made her sob her heart out, and every droplet that came running down her cheek was a droplet that she had been holding in for 400 years. She knew he had to go eventually. Every human does. But he said to her, we can enjoy the time while it lasts. 

She couldn't just leave him now, when he hadn't given up on her back then.

"Choose me."

"I love you.. Subaru, in fact." She smiled into his chest, trying her best not to get flustered. He'd 100% make fun of her for this later, for 'acting like a little kid', and she already knew this. "So Subaru can tell Betty if anything is wrong, I suppose.." Again, she wasn't really any good at comforting. But she hoped it made him feel just a little bit better, knowing she was there, knowing that she was choosing him just like he wanted her to.

"..I just had a nightmare. It's fine, though, Beatrice.. you're.. here now, and everyone else is fine."

She got a vague idea of what his nightmare was about by his response, and decided to not respond. They could talk about it in the morning, and she was sure he was exhausted. So they slept, and throughout the night, she continued to cuddle him without letting go, reminiscing about that fiery night. Reminiscing about how he pursued her even if he was almost going to burn to death. It was heartwarming for Beatrice. It wasn't like he wasn't letting go either. He listened to her every word and fell asleep in Beatrice's arms, like a little brother. It should probably be the opposite way around, shouldn't it?

\------

The bright rise of the sun shone through the silky, fancily threaded curtains of the Miload mansion, and Beatrice was awakened right beside it. Usually Subaru would awaken before her - lecturing her about staying up too late, and that she wouldn't grow if she slept so late, blah-blah-blah. But this time, Subaru was fast asleep still, a faint smile curled upwards towards his cheeks, and his eyes shut softly, as if he were a child. 

Beatrice couldn't help but flash a rare smile, closing her eyes with an expression which read 'well, it can't be helped, then', and slid the door ajar just so her body could fit between the crack. She stepped calmly, and tried to do it as carefully as she could, just so she couldn't wake anyone else, entering a room on a higher floor with a recently-dusted mahogany door. Beatrice made a mental note that the maids must be awakened, oh how hard they must work.

Even if Beatrice won't admit it personally, she did admire the maid's hard work and appreciate it immensely to keep the mansion in order. Even if it means admiring that girl, her name was.. Petra, she supposed. That's right. The one that bothered her all the time. But she couldn't say she disliked Petra's attitude towards herself.

As soon as the door cracked open, she peeked her head in. To notice Otto Suwen, hard at work in his office, with a frustrated look on his face. After all, he was one of the most important people in the entirety of the Emilia camp, the Official Head of Internal Affairs. Bad thing is, he barely gets any sleep due to people invading his privacy at work all the time, and having to stay up later due to this. Beatrice would feel bad for him, but he was the one who took up the job. Well, saying that, it was unwillingly. But she was sure that he did truly enjoy his job. 

"Beatrice?" Otto called out to the small girl peeking her head through the door that was too big for her, "..It's unusual to see you awake at this time in the morning. Did Natsuki send you down, or is he with you.. or something along those lines?"

The drill-haired loli took a moment to shuffle through the door and close it as quietly as she could without trapping her fingers or awakening anyone else. "No, Betty is here alone, I suppose. Subaru is sleeping, and Betty just wanted to speak to you, in fact," She put her hands on her hips, trying to act all intimidating when she was this small girl. Otto couldn't help but reveal an amused smile.

"So, what is it you would like to speak about, Beatrice?" Otto placed down his pen nearby his hat on the table, readjusting his seat. 

"Betty'd like to tell you about Subaru, in fact. Because she believes that you're the one he trusts the most apart from Betty and that silly girl in the whole wide world, I suppose," Although it'd be nice for him just to care about Betty, he wasn't her 'they'. She would say this, but she'd supposedly receive a sour face from Otto. "Go easy on Subaru today. Betty is his spirit contractor, and by this she can proudly say, because she knows the most about Subaru, that Subaru is not feeling the best, I suppose." She slid in the part about her knowing the most about Subaru, because of course she did. 

"..Beatrice, you say this as if I make fun.. ah, never mind. Thank you for telling me." Otto smiled at Beatrice with great respect apparent in his eyes.  
"I assume you're leaving now?"

"..Yes. Betty will be leaving now." And of course, because she doesn't want to show off her emotions, she doesn't end it with a 'thank you' or anything polite. She slid open the mahogany door and takes a quick look at Otto before leaving and shutting the door behind her with a satisfying click. 

She sighed, shrugging her awkward feelings off before heading back downstairs to hers and Subaru's room. It was approximately, maybe an hour or two before breakfast began? But Beatrice would enjoy laying in bed with Subaru for just a little longer.

So, she did. She got in the bed and softly kissed him on the forehead like an older sister before squeezing his hand.

And Beatrice says, 

"Thank you, Subaru. For letting Betty choose you, I suppose."

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fic! And the characters are horribly OOC. I'm so sorry, but please forgive me.


End file.
